Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Serena, and I’m eBaum’s World’s new NSFW editor. I’m also the one responsible for what’s landed in your inbox today, and will continue to land in your inbox three times a week from here on out — our too-hot-for-the-homepage XXXtra Spicy newsletter.
As you’ll see below, the newsletter will consist of original reporting and choice cuts from (and about) the spiciest corners of the internet. Think interviews with OnlyFans creators and porn legends; naughty meme dumps; dirty games and riddles; and lots of gorgeous photos filled with 🍑🍑🍑 and 🍒🍒🍒 (if you can read between the emojis).
Just remember, though: I’m the one who calls the backshots.
XOXOXO,
Serena
COVER STORY
Alexis Fawx’s Next Act Has A Very Happy Ending
Porn's favorite stepmom has a new gig as the Massage Mistress – and therein lies the rub
A year ago, legendary porn MILF Alexis Fawx debuted the Massage Mistress, a new erotic persona built around masseuse-and-client role-play where a happy ending is, in fact, mandatory. In almost no time, the Massage Mistress blew up on social media, reaching millions of followers and billions of views on all her platforms, including Instagram, TikTok, and of course, OnlyFans. Why? Probably because Fawx — a former licensed massage therapist — knows what she’s doing on the table, whether it’s relieving pressure or releasing an orgasm.
I love massages — I’m such a massage ho. But I will say, because I know that I give really good massages, I’m super picky at receiving them. When I had my own practice, I was really good at my job, so much so that I worked on professional tennis players.
That was many moons ago, though. Between 2012 and 2015, I was a licensed massage therapist in Florida. I was also dating someone who was in sports therapy, so I decided I’d go to school as well. At the time, I was just camming, so I put myself through massage school with my cam money, took a test and got licensed. It was official, and I didn’t do any funny stuff when I was an actual massage therapist — and yes, people tried to get me to.
Eventually, I felt limited by how many massages I could do per day and what I was willing to put my body through for that. I thought about it and realized that tiring out my body through sex was a lot more fun in comparison.
I went back to shooting more and more. I still wanted to massage on the side, but I quickly understood that I couldn’t mix the two. When you hold a license within a state, you can get into a lot of trouble if you also do professional adult content, so I stopped being a massage therapist, and gave up my license.
But I love the human body and I’ve always liked touch, so I’ve always picked careers that have involved both. Just a year ago — around April 2024 — we started shooting the Massage Mistress, and we released the first scene in May 2024.
From the beginning, people clung to the new persona really fast. Right away, they started asking, “When’s the next one?” or suggesting stuff like, “You could do a triple anal!” I’m always like, “Woah, buddy — can we heal the backside for this first scene?!?!”
Jokes aside, people started soaking up the Massage Mistress content like a sponge — they loved it, and so did I. Soon after, I went to Turkey for vacation, and I was in my hotel. It was check-in time. I always try to keep a very low profile, but this time, it didn’t work. The guy who was taking my luggage looked at me and said, “You’re the Massage Mistress!” I played it off. “Yeah, stepmom Alexis Fawx now has a job,” I said, playing into my own character. “She’s got kids at home, so she’s got to get a job somehow.”
Reality vs. Fiction
There is, however, a certain degree of reality when I’m shooting my Massage Mistress scenes. Most of the techniques that I’m using in the videos are what I’d do in a real massage, though obviously exaggerated. That’s what makes it super fun. Also, there are some similarities in the actual interactions as well. For example, when you get a massage, the massage therapist leans over your head and her bosom can get in your face, so it’s not that I’m doing anything that’s not actually professionally done — except, you know, that.
In all honesty though, I think massages are great. We all overwork ourselves, and we all get tired. Massages can really help with both of those things. Not to mention, we’re all missing the appropriate touch in our lives.
The Massage Mistress concept hits on this idea — it’s like, “Oh, I just want to lay down and get massaged and have my stress wiped away. And yeah, of course I want an orgasm on top of it!”
I’m doing what people really want to be done in the massage. I just don’t think it happens on a frequent basis, but shit, everybody’s attitude is adjusted after a nice orgasm. Besides, massages themselves are just hot. It stems from the fact that I like foreplay, and I like the touching. I like that you’re throwing up my leg, and that you’re taking care of my body. You’re caressing me, and you’re seeing how my body responds. There’s a give-and-take whether I’m doing the massage or it’s being done to me.
Once, I was in Italy for 10 days or so, and I went to a hotel spa. I had a male therapist, and honestly, I think he was gay. He never touched my genitals, but I still had an orgasm on his table. That just shows that when the touch is right and you’re relaxed, whoever your partner is, they’re going to be able to bring you to climax without sexual touch. Anyways, I couldn’t look the poor guy in the eyes afterwards, and got the fuck out of there, leaving one hell of a tip — as well as a snail trail.
Tying Herself Into Knots
After shooting a Massage Mistress scene, I do feel like I need a massage, because I’m doing all the work. On the other hand, talent is quite relieved when they get to finally be on the table. You basically get to lay back and relax, and for a little while, while we’re filming the SFW content for social media, I pretty much give you a nice light massage. Sometimes I get in my mode and I’ll start actually massaging the person: One time, a guy fell asleep during the scene. It was the cutest thing.
Personally, this is a great niche for me because I have education and background in it, so I can really lean into it. Overall, I like to lean into the character, because it’s fun for me. Besides, I don’t think it’s a character that you can get bored of. You can just switch things around a little bit while still carrying the same storyline, and people love it.
And at that point, why not give the people what they want? Why not give them their happy ending, after all?
Twitter Bop of the Week
What’s Going Down in Your OnlyFans DMs?: @meatloafyyy
OnlyFans Handle: @luvliii
OnlyFans Cost: Nothing at all, it’s free
What’s the vibe in your OnlyFans DMs?
The vibe is definitely all over the place! There are so many different people, requests and compliments in there that I couldn’t even begin to describe it.
What’s the wildest DM you ever received on OnlyFans?
Probably when someone said they’ve seen me in real life! I was like, “Woah! Hello!” Especially because I didn’t recognize the guy at all.
What’s the wildest request you’d fulfill — and for how much?
Mailing out my underwear and socks! But it would definitely cost a pretty penny.
People should subscribe to your OnlyFans if they want to see…
Personality! I’m undeniably myself. I leave in my little quirks and mess-ups. I love to laugh and talk to the camera as if my subs are there with me. I don’t really cut things out of my videos! If I do it, it’s there.
Also, I love interacting with my subs. I love when I get DMs on Twitter or TikTok from my subs and I can see how they really support me, and sometimes we end up chatting every day. I’ve definitely made some cool friends through people finding me on OnlyFans.
What’s the best line you’ve ever given for a dick rating?
Let me preface this by saying that I always ask if they want honesty or flattery. But someone requested a live video reaction and my jaw was on the floor — I just had to clap! I was starstruck lol.
required reading
The Juiciest Bits from the Juiciest Adult Film Star Memoirs
Expect scandal, hilarity and horny haikus
In a top-shelf XXX autobiography, you can get a glimpse behind the curtain of a fabled and often misrepresented industry to find everything from the hidden worlds of “fluffers,” to industry politics, to difficult conversations between sex workers and their families.
The four tantalizing tomes below are the juiciest of the bunch, filled with scandal, hilarity, and at least in one case, a horny haiku.
Insatiable: Porn – A Love Story by Asa Akira
Akira is a genius at sniffing out memorable one-liners, and her writing career has yielded some truly brilliant quotes. Two choice examples:
- “One day I’ll be a grandma who’s been gangbanged.”
- “We’re all just the product of a vaginal creampie.”
Arguably, Akira’s masterpiece is Insatiable, a no-bullshit glimpse into the industry, offering unvarnished and unglamorous accounts of life on set. Spoiler alert: There’s a lot of ass-washing required, especially when you become known for anal.
Akira shares a letter she wrote to her mom about shooting her first creampie scene — “I don’t necessarily regret it, but… I just don’t want random guys’ sperm in me, you know?” — as well as a list of “shit porn stars say.” Naturally, “don’t cum in my eye” is at the top of the list. There’s even a hilarious haiku in which she realizes she’s walking through Trader Joe’s with dried cum on her chin:
Home from Trader Joe’s
Was it there for that whole time?
Dried cum on my chin
Full Disclosure by Stormy Daniels
Daniels was famously paid $130,000 in hush money to keep quiet about an alleged affair with the sitting mushroom penis president, but the gag order is totally ignored in her autobiography, Full Disclosure.
She gets specific about her alleged affair with Trump and his “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small” mushroom-headed dick. In one of the most immortal burns ever printed on page, she recalls laying beneath him, “annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”
How to Make Love Like A Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale by Jenna Jameson
More a Shakespearean epic than a straight-up porn memoir, Jameson’s How to Make Love Like A Porn Star spans nearly 600 pages. Co-written by Neil Strauss, the book features verbatim transcripts of her porn scenes, usually with behind-the-scenes detail of what was involved and how much she was paid.
The highlights include:
- In her description of gonzo films, she writes how women “are taken to a crappy studio apartment in Mission Hills and penetrated in every hole possible by some abusive asshole who thinks her name is Bitch.”
- Jameson’s drug addiction is pretty well-documented, but the most entertaining reads are of her co-stars, like when she describes Arnold Biltmore’s dick as “stiff but mushy, like a twig that’s been seaborne for several days.”
- Her candor about what happens when a star is on her period. Namely: “Some genius came up with the idea of inserting a sea sponge against the cervix. It catches all the blood, and the camera never sees a thing.”
Coming Out Like A Porn Star by Jiz Lee
Even without any celebrity hook-ups or mainstream gossip, Lee’s Coming Out Like A Porn Star does a stellar job of rounding up the everyday stories of porn performers, including industry heavyweights like Annie Sprinkle, Stoya and Nina Hartley.
Lee opens with their own coming-out story, which begins with them slumped on a floor in Berlin as they ignore a call from their dad. As they grappled with the potential consequences of honesty, they started asking other porn performers about their coming-out stories and found tales that “ranged from funny to fucked-up.”
There’s stigma — one submission is literally titled Please Don’t Publish This With My Name — and pain, but plenty of love and humor, too. — Jake Hall
POP QUIZ!
Sex Toy or Dog Toy?
Answer at the bottom — right below the other bottom.
the robots are coming for your bedroom
This Is What A.I. Would Like to Do for Your Sex Life
Ever wanted to talk dirty to ChatGPT?
You can already use your phone to buzz the butt plug of a partner on the other side of the world, so it shouldn’t be a shocker (sorry) that pioneers in the field of teledildonics are already tinkering with A.I.
Here’s a glimpse at what existing A.I.-powered sex toys will let you do in the bedroom…
Talk Dirty With ChatGPT
You probably know Lovense as the creator of the hot pink, interactive vibrator beloved by cam performers, but the sex-toy giant has also experimented heavily with A.I. over the last few years.
In 2023, ChatGPT teamed with Lovense for its Pleasure Companion. All you do is give the Companion a few risqué story prompts or topics, and it creates your own customized fantasy, complete with voiceover. It’s basically build-your-own erotica.
Randomize Your Blow Jobs
Autoblow, the Rolls-Royce of automated dick-sucking technology, recently received an A.I. upgrade. Now, you can sync your toy to a porn library and have the stroker mimic the on-screen motions, or if you prefer the element of surprise, there’s an A.I. experience setting that combines more than a dozen different techniques to simulate the unpredictability of an actual blow job.
Get Fucked to the Beat of Your Favorite Songs
The SyncMo app allows you to link up your sex toy with whatever you’re watching. The demonstration video is seriously bizarre; it syncs a stroker to a video of what looks like a semi-naked woman in the throes of an exorcism, but you could always opt for something a little gentler to get you off — like the rhythm of your favorite song.
Talk to Your Sex Robot — And Have It Talk Back
A.I.-powered sex dolls are nothing new — the BBC released this short glimpse into a Chinese sex doll factory back in 2018, when ChatGPT was a mere glimmer on the tech horizon — but they’re getting more sophisticated.
A Shenzhen-based manufacturer is even training a large language model to enable in-depth conversations with these robot companions, which presumably means they’ll be able to respond enthusiastically to even your worst pick-up lines. — Jake Hall
have a laugh
Five Filthy Memes
health class refresher
Do Women Seriously Have A Secret ‘Fourth Hole’?
Welcome to TikTok Anatomy Class
On TikTok, glossy, beautiful young women whisper conspiratorially about their “fourth hole.” It’s the stuff of legend at this point — the top-secret erogenous zone nobody told you about, dropped casually in video comment sections.
But the truth is that you don’t know about the “fourth hole” because it doesn’t exist… right?
Ask An Expert
Dr. David Ghozland is a gynecologist based in Orange County, California, and he’s heard rumors of the mysterious “fourth hole” in a handful of consultations. “Patients mention it to me not because they’re foolish, but because a TikTok video has made it sound plausible,” he explains.
He’s sure to clarify, though: “There are three openings in the pelvic area of women. These are, namely, the urethra, the vaginal canal and the anus.”
Three openings, not four.
It Should Go Without Saying, But…
If you’ve heard some freaky new fact on TikTok that sounds too wild to be true, it’s probably bullshit. You know the drill: You’re scrolling through cute animal videos or thirsting over guys “dwerking,” and suddenly you’re being clobbered over the head by claims that vaccines are a government bioweapon designed to cull the population.
Ghozland sees this medical misinformation spreading at terrifyingly quick rates, so it’s always worth fact-checking what you see online, especially when it comes to sex. Did we seriously learn nothing from the blue waffle hoax? — Jake Hall
HE COMES IN PEACE
Peru Is Trying to Avoid War by Sending A Statue With A Giant Penis to Disputed Territories
It’s a bold approach, let’s see if it pays off
There are currently escalations on the Colombia-Peru border — specifically, disputes regarding a single island that didn’t even exist until 1970. Basically, in 1970, changing water levels in the Amazon River produced an island between the two countries. This has led to a decades-long dispute about who owns the island — which Peru is trying to settle by sending a sexy statue to it.
According to local media outlets, Peru is trying to solidify its claim to the island by sending a statue with a massive Johnson to stand on its shores. Why would this resolve the issue? I’m really not sure, but I appreciate the effort! — Braden Bjella
head of the class
The Last Word
Don’t treat oral sex as ‘one-size-fits-all.’ I’ll never forget, when eating a girl out during a threesome, she asked me to ‘slurp her clit like ramen noodles.’ That would be way too much stimulation for me.
the aforementioned bottom
The Money Shot
Butt cheeks courtesy of Redditor Felatuit, who can be found on Instagram here.
Answer to the Quiz Above: Trick question — it’s both. It’s called the Simulation Mating Dog Toy. From the very lol Amazon description: “(It) helps with male dogs’ physiological needs in heat, to relieve stress and rampage, to stop jumping around and shouting. This toy will protect your sofa and reduce damage to your furniture. At the same time, your pet dog is no longer alone.”
The 7-inch version (again, lol) is $139.99 and the 9-inch version is $149.99.
Closing CREDITs
The XXXtra Spicy newsletter is edited, written and curated by Serena Tara, with contributions from Jake Hall and Braden Bjella.